Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
