I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
