he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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