The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
