these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
