You really coming over, don't trick.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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