The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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