i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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