Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
