he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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