I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
