i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
