I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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