if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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