The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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