Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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