found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
