My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
