But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No I am not eating basil off your cock
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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