The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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