Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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