I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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