In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize