I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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