She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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