I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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