chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
no you cant smoke seaweed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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