You're completely useless in the revolution.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
