Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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