I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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