he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
