Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
