I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
