Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize