Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
