i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".