apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah