I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Im part way to drunk.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.