Jerry, you need to find god
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing