Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
