One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
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... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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