it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
