I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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