Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
