i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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