Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize