I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
