8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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