She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
