i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My feet surprised me
Randomize
