just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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