No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
