If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
