I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
