I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
