To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
