grandma shit on top of the toilet
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize