i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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