my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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