Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
