I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
