And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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