At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Drunk walkin through police station. America
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
