Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
