Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
