i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize