Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
