East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
did you just send me my own nude
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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