my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
