All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
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I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.