Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.