So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well